New Blog Series – A Fool’s Wife to a King’s Bride
Session II – How did I end up with a fool?
In this blog series we will take a biblical and real journey to find what is our DNA - David, Nabal or Abigail. We have to dissect the hidden areas in our lives that prevent us from moving from a fool’s wife to a king’s bride. In this next session we will address, how did I end up with a fool? Ladies have you ever found yourself in this situation? You are a beautiful, intelligent, charismatic Christian woman but you are in a relationship with a fool. You may have considered this relationship for many reasons. Today we will look at 3 reasons that you have ended up with a fool.
This blog lesson comes out of I Samuel 25. We have 3 characters that we will address in this series – David, Nabal and Abigail. The characters we will focus on today are Abigail and Nabal.
The focus of our lesson today is I Samuel 25:9-11 HCSB
David’s young men went and said all these things to Nabal on David’s behalf, and they waited. Nabal asked them, “Who is David? Who is Jesse’s son? Many slaves these days are running away from their masters. Am I supposed to take my bread, my water, and my meat that I butchered for my shearers and give them to these men? I don’t know where they are from.”
According to John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible, the author states that Nabal answered David’s men in a very haughty matter. Haughty means arrogantly superior, proud, conceited, snobbish or condescending. To add insult to injury, Nabal’s 2 questions - who is David and who is Jesse’s son did not make sense. In one question he is asking David who he is? The next question suggests that he knew David because of who he came from – Jesse’s son.
Nabal’s shade slips into disrespect when Nabal asks if David was Jesse’s son, similar to the way that Saul used to ask David in: 1 Samuel 20:27, 1 Samuel 20:30, 1 Samuel 20:31, 1 Samuel 22:7, 1 Samuel 22:8, 1 Samuel 22:13. And y’all know in this story David is running from Saul, 1 Samuel 25:4.
Now let’s look at Abigail.
Scripture gives us no clue as to who Abigail was or who her people were. Ellicott suggests that the name given to this famous Jewish beauty was likely given her by the villagers of her husband’s estate meaning “Whose father is joy”. She was a highly intelligent woman. Her plea before David also reveals her understanding of the events of her own world. She knew God, and although she lived in such an unhappy home, she remained a saint.
Now we have looked at the character of Nabal and Abigail.
Nabal is a fool by action and by definition. Abigail is a beautiful, intelligent woman of God. Doesn’t this scenario look too familiar? Why do beautiful Christian women end up with fool’s? Well scripture doesn’t tell us how Abigail ended up with a fool. But I have 3 reasons why Christian women end up with fools in 2016 – Indecision, Intimacy, Insecurity.
Goodness VaShaun, are you going here? Yes, I am. If you we are to move forward, we have to be honest about where we are. So I will briefly touch on each of the 3 subjects – Indecision, Intimacy, Insecurity.
Indecision. Some women have been treated poorly for so long, that they don’t know what it is like to be treated right. Have you ever met a beautiful woman with a foolish man that treats her terrible? He talks to her crazy in public. He is all on her social media, commenting on all of her statuses. He is friends with all her friends and they fall out every 3 minutes. She has had to fight 4 of his baby mamas, 3 ex-girlfriends, 2 ex-wives and a disgruntled stalker chick from the hood. Listen…. I want to grab these chicks and look into their eyes and immediately speak life. Baby this is not God’s plan for you. If a man is not adding to your life, he is subtracting your time, dividing your peace and multiplying your stress. That equals FOOLISHNESS! Decide today that you are worth more than the drama he puts you into. Love does not hurt. If you are not sure what love is let me tell you what scripture tells us. I Corinthians 13:4-7 says love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Ladies make sure the love of your life reflects the type of love that we are to have for one another. Make a decision today to accept the type of love you deserve.
Next up…Intimacy. Let’s talk about sex baby! Now we constantly mix up sex and intimacy. We know what sex is. But let’s look at the definition in depth. Sex is a sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. Intimacy is the close familiarity or friendship. Do you all see the difference? Some of us believe that the only way to get close to a man is through sex…intercourse. And let’s discuss it. Outer-course. Ladies just because a man does not take it to home base doesn’t mean you are not engaging in sexual activity. Please be clear. Now with this I learned through personal experience, bad men always have the best sex. Yes, I can be the first to admit. Before I got my life together BC (Before Christ) I engaged in activities that I had not business engaging in. Then I was 10 feet deep in my feelings and situation turned abusive. I think Mary J. Blige said it right, Me and Mr. Wrong get along so good
Even though he breaks my heart so bad. Now listen… I have sung this song on an occasion or two. But with growth comes wisdom. Just because he touches my body doesn’t I’m touching his heart. Dr. Patricia Love, the author of The Truth About Love, writes that a feeling of intimacy is created by a "chemical cocktail" that is produced in the brain during sex and stays with each person for up to 24 hours after intercourse.
When you lay with a man, he is actually entering not just your body but your mind, spirit and soul. You are to protect those things at all cost. Even if the cost is a cold bed at night. A warm bed is not worth a broken heart. Check out my last blog on some things to do to keep yourself preoccupied during those “times”. *sips tea*
Last but certainly not least, Insecurity. Now this is the hardest pill to swallow. Some women believe they will be single forever, so they settle for just anything. You allow him to treat you any kind of way. You put up with all type of foolishness. You sleep with him knowing that every time you lay with him you lose a part of your anointing. Just dropping oil all over sheets he didn’t even buy on a bed you only share at midnight.
You are worth more than what you accept. You are worth more than what your life has presented. You may not be where you want to be, but if you remain faithful to God, honor him with your life…. your entire life. Including your private life, he will give you the desires of your heart. Abigail honored God with her entire life. She even honored a foolish relationship until God gave her an open door to get out.
This is final part of Abigail’s story, I Samuel 25:32-35, 39-42 HCSB
Then David said to Abigail, “Praise to the Lord God of Israel, who sent you to meet me today! Your discernment is blessed, and you are blessed. Today you kept me from participating in bloodshed and avenging myself by my own hand. Otherwise, as surely as the Lord God of Israel lives, who prevented me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left by morning light. “Then David accepted what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. See, I have heard what you said and have granted your request.”
When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Praise the Lord who championed my cause against Nabal’s insults and restrained His servant from doing evil. The Lord brought Nabal’s evil deeds back on his own head.” Then David sent messengers to speak to Abigail about marrying him. When David’s servants came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, “David sent us to bring you to him as a wife. “She stood up, then bowed her face to the ground and said, “Here I am, your servant, to wash the feet of my lord’s servants.” Then Abigail got up quickly, and with her five female servants accompanying her, rode on the donkey following David’s messengers. And so she became his wife.
Abigail’s discernment, actions and character ultimately took her from a fool’s wife to a King’s bride. Look at your life. And ask yourself, how did I end up with a fool? Then look at Abigail to learn how to govern yourself & get your seat in the palace. Do better Queen!