How do I let a guy know I'm interested? How do I drop my handkerchief in 2016?

Posted by VaShaun Mosby on

Back in the day women used to drop their handkerchief as a way to let men know they wanted to talk to them. There was a time when women were not allowed to talk to a stranger. Handkerchiefs were literally a means of communication. Ladies would drop these precious pieces of lace on the sidewalk, whenever they wanted to attract the attention of a gentleman. Gentlemen were of course extremely flattered.

Now let’s move to 2016. Chile…. Women can talk to men. Hit on men. And have many means to contact men. We can take you to lunch. We can hit you up on social media. Now don’t act like you haven’t slid into a DM a time or two. You know it goes down in the DMs! We can just run up on a brother and say what’s good. Are you bae or nah.

Ladies can I tell you something… STOP. Just stop.

Now I am not telling you this because I’m hating. I am telling you this because you are giving the wrong impression to the man that you are interested in. When you constantly follow, comment, like, share, visit, call, text….stalk the man that you are interested in; you are telling him that you are not confident in yourself. Yes. You are telling him that you have a measure of insecurity. You are so afraid that he may not be interested in you and you are willing to do anything to ensure that he will maintain interest in you.

This may not be the testimony of everyone, so let me give you a different perspective.

Many moons ago, as I single woman I would approach the man that I was interested in. I had fool proof plan. It worked every time. Let me give you the game…

I would notice a guy “noticing me”. If it was a look, stare or whatever. I noticed that I had his attention.
I went through what I call 3 times and I got him lol…
  1. I would look at him and smile. Then I would look away.
  2. I looked at him a second time to make sure he was still checking me out. If he was, I would smile again flashing my big cheesy Crest grin and dimples. I think my green/grey sparkled a bit when I did this. Don’t judge me lol… Then I would look away again.
  3. I would look at him for a third time. If he was looking at me again I got him.
  4. I would walk up to him. Introduce myself. I would hand him one of my business cards and say if you are interested in speaking with me, call or email me.
  5. Then I would walk away… #LikeABoss

I promise yall this worked 99% of the time. The guy would call me within 5-10 minutes and say man I like the way you approached me and I am glad that you did.

Now this worked for many years. I felt I hit the holy grail. Most guys told me that I “looked like” I had a man so they would not approach me. So this was a win win for everybody right? Wrong.

Proverbs 18:22 HSCB says A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

A man who FINDS a wife FINDS a good thing and OBTAINS favor from the Lord.

So there are 2 words in this scripture that stood out to me. Find and obtain.

Check out these definitions for find.

  1. Discover or perceive by chance or unexpectedly.
  2. Recognize or discover something to be present.
  3. A discovery of something valuable.

Check of this definition of obtain.

  1. Get, acquire or secure something

Okay so let’s put our definitions in scripture.

He who discovers or perceives by chance or unexpectedly, recognizes something or discovers something valuable gets, acquires and secures favor from the Lord.

This scripture tells me something. If a man is to get his favor from the Lord, he is going to have to do some discovering and recognizing.

It is up to him to discover something valuable. It is up to him to perceive this discovery by chance or unexpectedly.

So tell me in this scripture does it say, she who finds, stalks, inboxes, comments, shares, DMs, texts a husband?

It doesn’t. So ladies if you find yourself doing this. Stop. You are out of order and that may the reason why you are still single.

Ooooop hold on, let me sip this tea real quick.

Now I am not fussing at you but I want you to realize you may be the reason why no one is approaching you. Because you are always approaching someone.

And if you keep approaching a man, you are denying him the right to his God given favor. Do you want to be the reason that man doesn’t obtain favor from the Lord?

Is that DM worth it? Is that comment worth it? Is that follow worth it?

At the beginning of this blog I mentioned dropping your handkerchief. Back in the day that was an acceptable way of getting man’s attention and communicating with that man.

That showed him that I am a lady enough to let you pick up my handkerchief and start the necessary conversation.

So how do you drop your handkerchief in 2016?

I think our sisters Naomi and Ruth give us the biblical game! Follow these 2 instructions.

  • Find a seasoned woman mentor who can instruct you on how you should.
  • Work

The story of Ruth in the bible is the best blueprint to follow if you desire a man after God’s own heart. This story is not a love story, but a purpose story. Naomi knew she could push Ruth into purpose. But Ruth had to trust the instruction from Naomi.

Many times women don’t want to take the advice of another because we feel we are right. But take a look at yourselves.

Is what you’re doing right now yielding any results? No. Then do something else.

Ladies there are 2 steps that you need to take to drop your handkerchief in 2016.

  1. Get a mentor.
  2. Work

The man that God has for you will FIND you and he will OBTAIN his favor and his favor will include his beautiful bride. Stay so busy that the man has no choice but to notice you and take action. Make sure there is a seasoned woman in your life that can give you your next steps after you work. In time God will give you the desires of your heart!

I hope this helped someone today. If you want me to address a particular subject, email my staff at We will choose and address as many subjects as possible!

Be blessed ladies.

~VaShaun Nicole

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  • I’m so excited about this!! I agree with Brittney 100%. Women, as a whole, need to let these men have their roles back. As long as there are women still sliding in DM’s, the women dropping handkerchiefs will remain overlooked. Times have changed so much, and roles have been blurred to the point that most men don’t even realize that not only is their masculinity being challenged, but their favor from the Lord is being threatened. Both parties need to be educated for this system to work. We need a blog for the fellas!!

    Dwanae' Johnson on

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